With my face to the light
and my feet on the grass
Do you ever feel confused when asked how you are? It can seem easier to point out how the clouds are changing, or that the grass is glowing wet, green hues again after the rain. I have stopped recording daily weight loss in my diary. Instead I sit on a camping chair on the front lawn with bare feet as soon as I wake up. There’s a film about this! Have you heard of ‘grounding’? I have stopped knowing that I will collapse after a five minute walk; my partner drives me to the beach in the evenings, and I find myself moving across wet sand, and feeling the edge of the vast sea sweep up to my ankles.
Indeed, I’m not even talking to the tumours in my liver at the moment. (Can certainly feel them but we won’t talk about that.)
In stronger days
I went in the sea through the winter, every Friday morning with our friends, Andy and Lynette. It was a twenty minute drive. We packed hot water bottles, flasks of tea and hats and scarves for afterwards. We usually stayed in for about five or six minutes. It toned body and soul for the coming week. To sustain this, I had a two minute cold shower every day after my normal warm one. I had never felt so well.
And so I endure what sometimes takes me to my limit
It is easy to write about sitting on grass, or swimming when I feel relatively well and able to type. Conversely I have dragged myself outside in the night, in the midst of high temperature, full of such toxicity and inflammation in my body that I have no strength to keep my eyelids open. I try to sense the stars, and feel some comfort from the earth under bare feet. And I think, ‘All this will pass. I am getting better.’
There is not enough money for me to get to Germany 10/11/22
I have been able to go to Praxisgemeinschaft fur Zelltherapie for essential cancer treatment (after unsuccessful courses with the NHS) since May. This is extraordinary because each cancer vaccine costs more than €6000, and the IV infusions are €2223.
This has all been gifted to me from friends, family and anonymous donors!
Would you consider contributing 10% of your donation to help me get medical treatment again?
Sending love, and thanks, and wishes for good grass times,
Lisa X