My news is that it is mid-week and I went to pick up my organic vegetable box this morning. I did not ask any passerby for help, carrying it to the car. I’m looking forwards to going to work in an hour. I’m feeling VERY joyful.

Just as it is hard to recall extreme pain once it has passed, I can tell you, - in a way that seems almost unreal to myself,- that for the last three weeks, mid-week, I have been suddenly struck with violent exhaustion (and very high temperatures.) Last Tuesday, for example, it struck while I was speaking to my eldest daughter online. ‘Got to go, NOW,’ I let her know. As I had to go to work in a couple of hours I went to bed, and asked my partner to wake me an hour before work with coffee, paracetamol and food. This toxic mix got me out of the house, but a couple of hours later I could hardly hold my head up straight. Back in bed I tried to drink water before my head hit the pillow, and then woke at midnight, dehydrated, with a strange bundle of nightmares. For the next 24 hours I was only able to stagger to the bathroom.

Celebrate Today

And so has been, every week for the last three. And today the spell has been broken.

FUNDRAISING

I have metastatic melanoma. Half a year of immunotherapy at my local hospital in Poole, and a clinical trial at The Royal Marsden brought me to an extremely serious state of health. I am now having life saving Dendritic Cell Therapy in a clinic in Germany, as this personalised form of immunotherapy is not yet available in the UK.

Please support me with hope, and vital financial funding! The smallest amount helps me pay for a vaccine, and two low dose immunotherapy IV treatments.

Here’s my JUSTGIVING PAGE.

Is there anyone who hasn’t had a cold virus over the winter? Well it finally came to me. I felt strangely exultant when the sore throat started, because here was an illness that I was definitely going to get better from soon. Not like the months, or years of recovery needed for a chronic disease like cancer. But as we all know, when things become horrible you are just there in the moment, trying to endure it.

Read about how these essential oils can prevent and alleviate winter cold and flu symptoms. I also boiled the herb Eyebright to make mini eye compresses to soothe sore irritation on my face. Caring for the senses with colour, smell, touch and warmth brings gentle and powerful transformation in health.

Pills and plant allies

I would not be alive now if I had not received dendritic cell therapy, together with two check point blockers in each session. And medication that I take each day.

But I would also not be alive without the sun on my face and the earth underneath my feet.

You would stop reading this blog post now if I started listing all the physical symptoms that have come my way in the last year and a half. I have learned from friends, and my own exploration what to do using the plant world. (And yes, I have had to use meds sometimes, too.) Rash over most of the body, anyone? Oat parcels in bath, with calendula oil applied straight afterwards. And after putting the incredible Weleda Wild Rose Pampering Body Lotion on my arms one night when I couldn’t sleep for anxiety I decided to train as a Weleda Wellbeing Advisor.

Fundraising

Here is my JustGiving Page

My next appointment in Germany for cell based therapy for metastatic melanoma is on 08/02. My youngest daughter, Orly, made an amazing gift to me this time to help with the medical costs. Please click on the link if you can join her.

Thank you for reading,

Lisa x

When midnight came on 31 December 2022 I was lying in the dark under the roof top window in a house in Cornwall listening to the waves, and fireworks being set off on the beach below. One of my brothers had rented a large, old house to celebrate the 80th birthday of our mother, (who painted the image, above) on New Year’s Eve.

Next day, after the satnav tried to send me down a hundred Cornish lanes back home to the south coast, via Bristol (look at paper maps before setting out from this county) we arrived home in the dark. I was tired, and very happy, and looking forwards to going back to work again.

New Years Day

After a very good night’s sleep I woke up exhausted. Not wanting to eat. What was happening? I reluctantly read my temperature - 39.3. It was a difficult new day, and I had to sleep all afternoon. And the next day; I was too weak to go to work. This was my liver, obviously shouting and making a fuss, as I again had to acknowledge that metastatic melanoma is still a part of my life in 2023.

Every day new hope

Next day, (or was it the one after?) I went to work. I was met by the warmth of the house team in The Sheiling, Ringwood . I committed to joining a community art project in the town where I live. I’m going to make a felt bird eating berries! I continued my training as a Weleda Wellbeing Advisor, joining a company who stand for people and planet before profit. We are all inherently healthy but sometimes need help to rebalance.

Fundraising

I still need medical help to bring my body into health. On 08/02/2023 I have another appointment at the clinic specialising in cellular therapy for cancer in Germany. The challenging high costs remain constant, and I need to ask for continued support.

JustGiving Page

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Lisa X

You are part of my life

I am alive because you have helped and supported me to get to the cell therapy clinic in central Germany. You have given me financial donations which have paid each visit for: diagnostic blood tests, two low dose immunotherapy IV treatments , a consultation with the doctor, and then the so called ‘cancer vaccine’ - Dendritic Cell Therapy.

I am hoping to hear that tangible progress has been made shrinking the liver tumours after having Ipilimubab, in conjunction with the above. There is absolutely no doubt that the cancer vaccine has kept me alive since May, when the NHS declared they had tried everything.

The route

I am hoping that the drive there will be ok, and that Nothing Happens. I will stay with an ex colleague in Maastricht, Holland on the way.

The way back is more doubtful. My pals in the chat forum of Macmillan confirm that side effects from a combination of the two check point blockers result in almost immediate, rather dire, side effects. Last time I looked at the clock at 06:30 the morning after, and wondered how I would manage to get dressed by the motel check-out time of 11:00. As I endure Something Happening through the night, and then for a further 24 hours I shall try to form the words,

‘This is a good immune response.’

Thank you!

I have been able to thank many people personally. I hold in my heart those out there who have made anonymous contributions.

Fundraising

I know that I have to go at least one more time for Dendritic Cell Therapy in central Germany (as this treatment is not yet available in the UK).

Please contact me by email lisa.m.attias@gmail.com if you can help me, or donate directly on my JUSTGIVING PAGE.

My son and two daughters came to stay with me for a week. Plus seven year old Zahara.

Mischa flew from Israel. He brought pomegranates and fresh pecan nuts which we ate by the sea.

Orly and Mischa took me out one day. We went to Lymington and the area near Hurst Castle, where we sat on the beach and looked at The Isle of Wight. It is amazing and wonderful to feel so cared for by my children in various ways.

Fundraising

I have been cared for by kind friends and family who gave donations to help me get to Germany for medical treatment again.

Haim closed his sourdough pizza restaurant for the night, opening it to his brothers and sisters. My former brothers and sisters-in-law enjoyed mezze and pizza in the desert city of Beer Sheva in the spirit of a fundraising evening for me. Thousands of miles away in Texas, Merlin, Bettie, Bob and Wendy raised money for me, in spite of the sadness of a family member’s death from cancer.

Sponsored walk

Jem walked across Dorset. Our friend Lynette joined him for the Poole harbour to West Moors leg of the journey. It was a long way!

Would you like to sponsor him?

Have a great week,

Lisa x

My JustGiving Page

Indeed, I’m not even talking to the tumours in my liver at the moment. (Can certainly feel them but we won’t talk about that.)

In stronger days

I went in the sea through the winter, every Friday morning with our friends, Andy and Lynette. It was a twenty minute drive. We packed hot water bottles, flasks of tea and hats and scarves for afterwards. We usually stayed in for about five or six minutes. It toned body and soul for the coming week. To sustain this, I had a two minute cold shower every day after my normal warm one. I had never felt so well.

And so I endure what sometimes takes me to my limit

It is easy to write about sitting on grass, or swimming when I feel relatively well and able to type. Conversely I have dragged myself outside in the night, in the midst of high temperature, full of such toxicity and inflammation in my body that I have no strength to keep my eyelids open. I try to sense the stars, and feel some comfort from the earth under bare feet. And I think, ‘All this will pass. I am getting better.’

There is not enough money for me to get to Germany 10/11/22

I have been able to go to Praxisgemeinschaft fur Zelltherapie for essential cancer treatment (after unsuccessful courses with the NHS) since May. This is extraordinary because each cancer vaccine costs more than €6000, and the IV infusions are €2223.

This has all been gifted to me from friends, family and anonymous donors!

Would you consider contributing 10% of your donation to help me get medical treatment again?

My JUSTGIVING PAGE

Sending love, and thanks, and wishes for good grass times,

Lisa X

Fundraising evening

Last Saturday there was a fundraising event in the middle of Ringwood, Hampshire, for my cancer recovery fund. All evening there was live music from two bands, Purbeck Storm and Murphy’s Dog, who gave their time and skills freely for us. There was even singing in the time we stopped to eat, from a rich buffet. My friend Pat made a Pimm’s Punch which raised extra money. A kind team served warm drinks. The dances were guided by Wendy Jane, a local musician. She and Jem Dent spent many hours planning the evening and publicising it.

I knew many people, but tried to speak to everyone who came to thank them. People generously gave donations at the door, and some contributed something to my JUSTGIVING PAGE if they were unable to come.

Several hundred pounds were raised. We are writing to all who came to thank them again and tell them the total.

When you help me in this way it is not just the money which directly supports my medical needs; it is the warmth and thoughtfulness which I know are sustaining me.

THANK YOU WITH ALL MY HEART FOR YOUR ON GOING HELP

Lisa X

Fundraising

This is happening on October 1st. Please come if you live near Ringwood! I would love to see you. These kind of dances are such fun, and are great with or without a partner- absolutely ‘A celebration of community and movement’ as the flier says. It has been organised by Wendy, a friend and musician from our local community, together with Jem.

The bands are playing free of charge, to support me in the enormous fundraising endeavour that faces me, to support me having treatment for cancer in Germany when the NHS had nothing more to offer.

Please help me by:

1. Contributing to my JustGiving Page

2. Write a short piece about me and share with your colleagues or local community asking them to help me

3. Help me to reach affluent organisations, or charities who may be interested in supporting a new approach to healing cancer

And Presence

From a poem by John O’Donohue

May you awaken to the mystery of being here and enter

the quiet immensity of your own presence.

May you have joy and peace in the temple of your senses.

May you receive great encouragement when new frontiers beckon.

May you respond to the call of your gift and

find the courage to follow its path.

May warmth of heart keep your presence

aflame and anxiety never linger about you.

Thank you for your support, and have a good week, Lisa x

Can you see the rainbow in the background? I can’t remember if this was taken before or after the storm.

Melanoma update

I came back from the clinic in central Germany where I am receiving Dendritic Cell Therapy, still not available in the UK, last week. I’ve found that this time I cannot easily chat about ‘how it went’ with colleagues, friends and neighbours who are quite dear to me. I’m feeling overwhelmed. Here is a photo of me feeling less overwhelmed in Duderstadt , when I was tired of the 30 degree heat, fed up of still being so thin, and wishing I was a tourist not a cancer patient.

Good news

I’M NOT DEAD.

Around the New Year the Poole Oncology department began remarks about palliative care when the immunotherapy drug I took for half a year did not work, and liver tumours grew fast. In March CT scans from The Royal Marsden showed that in spite of a clinical trial the tumours were slowly increasing.

Dr. Nußelhut stated that if I had not began this dendritic cell therapy in May I would simply not be alive today.

It is surreal and extraordinary to me that I am literally living because of financial donations. Last week my Icelandic family (I am a quarter Icelandic) contributed £2750, organised by my second cousin Ása.

Less good news

After an exciting start with the first cancer vaccines when evidence showed that the tumours were shrinking, my cancer seemed to be trying to hide. This means that my disease is currently ‘stable’, but of course ‘We have to improve on this,’ says the doctor. Next time another check point blocker will be added which should do the trick. I will then be administered dendritic cells again from my own body which have been primed against my own cancer.

Then hopefully…

And then there’s the money

Please help me to stay alive. 3 suggestions:

1. Contribute to my JustGiving Page

2. Write a short piece about me and share with your colleagues or local community asking them to help me

3. Help me to reach organisations who may be interested in supporting a new approach to healing cancer

lisa.m.attias@gmail.com

Thank you,

Lisa X

Yes, sometimes it feels a bit much having so many photos of myself online because of fundraising for Dendritic Cell Therapy for metastatic melanoma. So here is a mask one. I was looking underwater in the Red Sea, and became so overwhelmed by the sheer depth that I swam back on to the wrong boat. Have you ever tried speaking arabic underneath plastic? I was so flustered I couldn’t take the thing off.

My good and bad week

It was so good to go back to work after the summer break, but on day three I only managed 2 hours before having to go home. So disappointing as I had had a good three week break since my last sufferings.

When I rose again I was very moved by the newest messages on my JustGiving Page. which helped me to breathe more deeply again. How deeply kind people are!

May I just quickly state that it is blatantly clear (confirmed by my UK G.P.) that I would be receiving hospice care now if I had not received donations from so many of you for my ‘cancer vaccines’.

Yomp Dorset for Lisa!

I was, and am still, too underweight to try a sponsored walk for my birthday in July. But someone else is doing a ‘yomp’ for me. (Have you heard of this word before?) If you would like to join Jem on any part of this beautiful trail from Weymouth to Ringwood, - camping overnight on the Friday, or support by sponsoring him that will be great!

With my warmest wishes to all,

Lisa

My JustGivingPage (and another photo of me from the archives).

I have sometimes experienced that with physical illness there comes a feeling that I need to immediately do something about it. This can come from a rush of sheer fear, or a less anxious period of collecting up of facts, perhaps from the internet, or kind friends. Health professionals do this too. NHS practitioners may dole out pills to treat a stated symptom. And there is a stream of well-meaning wellness advisors who are convinced that I should, for example, practice intermittent fasting now ( I would fade away!) or focus on releasing all my known past traumas with their help. Even though they have not yet met me.

I went through the stage of relating all my symptoms to the consultants at The Royal Marsden, partly because a Stage I drug trial consists of collecting this very data for the pharmaceutical companies. When a woman with metastatic melanoma, like me, that I met in the bed opposite me, died the following week I (very unsubtly) tried to ask the nurses what had happened.

For a month I convinced myself that things could change fast if I ate mostly green vegetables . Dr Nußelhut told me that we have very little idea of the reality of how different food substances affect us as differing individuals, and that he did not think it was great that I have lost 7 kilos since March.

Being an individual

Which is the right question? In crisis… or when life seems to be moving beautifully:

What are you doing, or who are you being?

If I live intensely in the present moment, intuition flows. I know what to do. The people I need to meet seem to mysteriously come towards me. If I look after my little garden something looks after me. Today can never be a repetition of a successful (or awful) yesterday.

And what is absolutely right for me may not work for someone else.

Fundraising for an individualised cell-based therapy for cancer

I am dependant on contributions, donations, good wishes for a treatment that is not yet available in the UK. Please look at my Just Giving Page, or contact me at lisa.m.attias@gmail.com if you feel you can help.

P.S.

If anyone like me tries to explain any pattern or logic to side effects do not believe them. They come when they like. I have just had two cycles of temperatures on Tuesdays which was why I was unable to write my usual weekly blog posts for a fortnight.

I have now had two ‘cancer vaccines’, with complementary treatment, in the clinic in Germany. Last week I was given tangible results of healing from Tuesday’s blood tests, and the ultrasound images of the size of tumours in my liver. My blood was sent overnight to a lab in Berlin to be analysed. It seems extraordinary that the readings show the perimeter of my liver even more precisely than ultrasound. Dr. Neßelhut calls this the Immuno Profile. Earlier this year, a leading cancer hospital outside London did not have access to this information.

Oh yes, and the worrying inflammation level in my body has gone down from 7.4 to 2.3. The normal level is 0.5.

Dendritic cell therapy heals some cancers

Isn’t health such a mysterious phenomena? What I have experienced profoundly in my body in this year of enduring metastatic melanoma are the sometimes overlapping areas of healing, curing and alleviating of symptoms. If you would like to read why cellular cell therapy is one of the most advanced ways of healing cancer I recommend this informative blog post by a man who has supported me, accompanying me to Praxisgemeinschaft für Zelltherapie.

Fundraising for continued treatment

My fundraising Page has unbelievably engendered support from 121 supporters, with £6,256 funds raised today, 12/07/22. Offline contributions from 41 kind supporters have exceeded this, giving real hope for continued treatment for melanoma which is not available in the UK.

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/lisa-attias

P.S

My friend Ingrid gave an Indian curry fundraising buffet for me, and £250 came as contributions. I was so overwhelmed I forgot to take photos.

P.P.S

An old friend who lives in Holland offered to put us up to break the long drive back to the UK.